This has been a very interesting time for me as you can see from the previous blogs. I'm trying to figure some things out as I make the turn into my 40th lap. Last night I had a bit of an ipifany. I think a lot of the anst I feel boils down to one thing It isn't a job that will make me feel happy or whole. It's about a sense of belonging - a feeling that you really love where you are. And at about 4:35 this morning it dawned on me that perhaps one of my biggest problems is that I haven't really put down roots anywhere. My early teens set into motion a nomadic existence. I left Don Mills, Ontario and went off to a boarding school in Saint Louis. And while I did make friends in the city I spent 12 years of my life in - they too were nomadic. They came to the boarding school from Texas, North Carolina, California and so on. So when we broke for vacation they fled like migratory birds, (spawning salmon is a better metaphor). Since then I've lived in Atlanta, Conneticut, Texas and now here in Dundas. Each stop led to friendships that were inevitably fractured by moves, lay-offs and in some cases divorces (not mine, but Lord knows we came close a few times). I think there's a lesson to be learned in this hobo-like existance. Find a town you love and go from there. Don't move for family, cause it tends to bring up old wounds. Don't move because of friends - they tend to move away. Don't move for a job - they tend to down size and leave you out in the cold. Find a town that loves you and love it back. Find a community that FEELS right to YOU. All this thinking got me looking around, and I found a site that was helpful - findyourspot.com. You enter a bunch of likes and dislikes and it gives you a list of cities or towns that match your ideals. First one for me was a surprise, Greenville, South Carolina. So I'm looking at this town with a population of 56,000 and I'm eyeing it. But believe me I'm looking at number two with some longing, Olympia Washington. It's nestled on a magnificant paninsula in South Puget Sound and sounds lovely. Raleigh, Lynchburg, Tacoma - hey, even Saint Louis made the list. I know you can't go home again - but if you never had a home to begin with, can't you create one?
Interesting that we made the list :) I was thinking about Long Island and it honestly feels a little surreal that it was ever home - let alone for over a decade and a half of my life. But even within this city - various places have felt like home - ultimately what's been home for me has focused a lot around my church community which are as close to me as my blood family... we feel blessed that way. I pray God give you wisdom as to where He wants you and peace as you make any decisions... blessings friend! You have my prayers as always :)
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